Parenting Rebellion
Sermon Audio
Sermon Notes
Today we’re continuing our series called From Me To You which is about the bible’s timeless wisdom regarding relational topics like singleness, sex, marriage, parenting, and friendships. Over the past couple weeks we’ve talked about singleness, sex, and marriage, and today we’re talking about parenting. Today we’re talking about parenting, and for those of you who don’t have kids there’s 3 reasons this message is still relevant to you. 1st you might end up having kids one day, 2nd all of us are responsible for helping to raise the next generation, and 3rd if you’re a Christian you have spiritual children to help raise right here in this very church. So this is a message for all of us, including those who don’t have children.
Now personally, I think parenting has become much more complicated over the years. I mean when I was growing up my parents didn’t worry about getting vaccines or not. They didn’t worry about eating organic, non-GMO, gluten free, Kale with Himalayan salt. I had great parents too, but they didn’t worry about all that. I didn’t go to sleep to Baby Mozart...I got vaccinated, ate fruity pebbles, and drank strawberry Yoo-hoo’s for breakfast. But it’s all so complicated today, as if we need parenting to be any more complicated than it already is. I mean there’s a reason we have tons of books on parenting being published every year. It’s because we’re still trying to figure this parenting thing out. In fact if we were to take all the parenting books that’ve been published over the past 20 yrs, it’d equal to more than 75,000 books, which is roughly 10 parenting books a day. That’s roughly 10 parenting books a day, many are 2nd editions because the 1st editions didn’t work to begin with. So what’s all this tell us about parenting? It tells us not even the experts have it all figured out because if they did we wouldn’t need so many books. But they don’t have it figured out, which is why the greatest thing I can teach you on parenting is you need Jesus...You do...I know some of you are hoping I’ll teach you some principles on parenting, but I’ve decided not to do that because you’d just fail to live those principles out just like me and the experts. Someday I’ll teach you some parenting principles, but for today I’m gonna teach you the #1 thing that’s helped and still helps my parenting, and it’s Jesus. So let’s turn to 2 Timothy 3:10-17 and get into it. The title of today’s message is “Parenting Rebellion.” A parent’s greatest teaching and greatest need, is Jesus...A parent’s greatest teaching and greatest need, is Jesus...
Context:
Here’s your context. 2 Timothy was a letter written by a man named Paul who’s known as one the greatest Christian leaders in history, and he’s writing this letter to a young man he mentored named Timothy. It’s actually his 2nd and last letter to Timothy, because historically he was writing this during a time when the Roman Emperor Nero was persecuting and killing Christians trying to purge them from the Roman Empire. Paul being such a prominent leader was one of the guys on the hit list, and he’s writing this letter from a Roman prison waiting to be executed for his faith in Jesus. At this point he’s poured into Timothy for several years, he’s sent Timothy to be the pastor of the Ephesian church, and Timothy’s a young pastor facing opposition from some false teachers. So Paul writes this letter to encourage him, and it’s in ch. 3 that we’ll get a glimpse of how Timothy came to faith in Jesus, it started in his home. Let’s check it out.
The Word:
2 Timothy 3:10-17 states, “You, however, have followed my teaching, my conduct, my aim in life...” Paul says Timothy’s followed his “teaching” and “conduct,” meaning his doctrinal teachings about Jesus and the way he’s lived out those teachings. He says it’s been his “aim in life.” The Greek word for “aim” can also be translated as “purpose,” meaning his primary aim, his primary purpose in life was to teach people about Jesus and to live his life for Jesus. It’s what the primary aim and purpose of every Christian should be. The primary aim and purpose for every Christian isn’t to achieve your educational, career, or financial goals, it’s to teach and live your life for Jesus as you achieve such goals. If you don’t align your life and purposes with Jesus, then you’re living for a temporal clock that’s constantly ticking down where all your educational, career, financial goals, and dreams will eventually end with a tombstone. But when Jesus rose from the dead he proved if we align our lives and purposes with him, you’ll be living for an eternal clock that’s constantly ticking forward and will have an eternal impact beyond a tombstone. It’s one of the reasons why Paul’s able to write such an encouraging letter to Timothy even while facing Roman execution. It’s because his primary aim in life isn’t on the temporal it’s on the eternal, it’s on Jesus, which is the 1st of 3 things I want you to know about parenting:
#1 Our Children Need To See Jesus Is Our Primary Aim In Life = Our children need to see Jesus is our primary aim in life, including those of you who don’t have biological children. Some of you don’t have biological children and you view the next generation as if they’re not your responsibility to teach when it is. In fact Paul wasn’t married, he didn’t have biological kids or kids in children’s ministry, yet he still viewed Timothy as his spiritual child. He even starts this letter off in 2 Timothy 1:2 stating, “To Timothy, my beloved child.” He calls Timothy his beloved child because his love for Timothy isn’t separated by biology, it’s joined together by Jesus. As Christians we’re to view the church and children in the church as family, which means everybody should be willing to serve in things like children’s ministry. Our children need to see Jesus is our primary aim in life like Timothy sees in Paul. But a lot of us focus so much on our children being experience rich, that we end up making them gospel poor, we end up making them spiritually bankrupt in Jesus. We might say Jesus is our primary aim in life, but what our children are seeing is things like travel ball, dance, and social media are the primary aim. None of those things are bad things, we can even teach our children about Jesus through those things, but none of it’s worth it if it means our children are spiritually bankrupt in Jesus. I mean what good is winning a game or dance competition if it means losing your child’s soul? I’m not asking that to be harsh, I’m asking it because it’s a question I’ve been asking myself and it’s a question Jesus asks us. In Mark 8:36 Jesus asked, “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?” The answer’s nothing. None of it profits us if it means losing your soul or your child’s soul. Even those who aren’t Christians would agree with that. You wouldn’t give up your child’s soul for the world. In fact you’d be willing to give up the world, even your very own life if it meant your child could keep their soul and spend eternity with you...which is exactly what Jesus did. Jesus gave up his very own life, he died for our sins so we could keep our souls spending eternity with him and each other. The education, career, wealth, travel ball, dance, none of it matters if we don’t have Jesus at the tombstone. It’s okay for our children to be experience rich, but let’s not make them gospel poor. A parent’s greatest teaching and greatest need, is Jesus.
Again vs. 10, “You, however, have followed my teaching, my conduct, my aim in life, my faith, my patience, my love, my steadfastness, 11 my persecutions and sufferings that happened to me at Antioch, at Iconium, and at Lystra, which persecutions I endured; yet from them all the Lord rescued me. 12 Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, 13 while evil people and impostors will go on from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. 14 But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have firmly believed, knowing from whom you learned it 15 and how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.” Paul’s encouraging Timothy to keep teaching and living for Jesus despite the opposition. He’s teaching him that Jesus is our primary aim in life even in persecution. But I also want you to notice he says Timothy’s faith in Jesus started “from childhood.” Now the Greek word for “childhood” can also be translated as “infancy,” meaning Timothy’s faith started in his home at a very young age. Historically we know he was taught the scriptures by his grandma Lois, his mother Eunice, and eventually his spiritual father Paul, which should encourage those of you who are single moms or don’t have spouses who are spiritually involved in the life of your children, because Timothy still came to faith even without his biological father pouring into him spiritually. Paul stepped in to be his spiritual father, but Timothy’s faith was first being cultivated in his home by his grandmother and mother, which is the 2nd thing I want you to know about parenting.
#2 It Starts In Our Home = Our children need to see Jesus is our primary aim in life, but it starts in our home. Timothy was taught the bible, he was taught about Jesus in his home, and what’s interesting is Barna research recently published a several year study on a few thousand young adults in there 20’s. It’s a unique study because there’s been a lot of studies on why young adults leave the church, but Barna’s study is the first I’ve seen on why some haven’t left the church. Now one of the commonalities they found in the young adults who didn’t leave the church was that their parents made teaching their children about Jesus their highest parental priority, just like Timothy’s grandmother, mother, and spiritual father did for him. Barna said they taught their children the bible, they taught them about Jesus weekly, and for 2 reasons:
1st it was intended to teach a child that the best place to search for answers in life is in the bible, rather than simply making decisions on the fly, or based on feelings alone.
2nd there was the hope that regular exposure to God’s principles would begin to build a worldview, that would serve their children well for the duration of their lives.
The young adults interviewed said it was the extensive time spent studying the bible as a family, that had the greatest impact in their development as dedicated followers of Jesus.
These young adults said the greatest impact in their development as dedicated followers of Jesus, was their parents spending time studying the bible with them. Simply put, it starts in our home like it did for Timothy. It’s okay for our children to be experience rich, but let’s not make them gospel poor. A parent’s greatest teaching and greatest need, is Jesus. It starts in our homes.
Again vs. 15, “And how from childhood you have been acquainted with the sacred writings, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. 16 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, 17 that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.” What Paul’s saying is the bible’s true, trustworthy, and authoritative over our lives. It’s full of God’s timeless wisdom like we’ve seen in this series, and it’ll guide us against Satan’s lies, guide us against false teachers like Timothy’s facing, guide us in how to live our lives so we can be taken deeper into joy. It’ll even teach us about who God is and how to have a relationship with God, making us wise for salvation through Jesus like vs. 15 states. But notice Paul also says the bible’s for “training in righteousness,” which is the 3rd thing I want you to know about parenting.
#3 Children Need To Be Trained In Righteousness = Our children need to be trained in righteousness, they need to be taught to be more like Jesus, and what’s always intrigued me is the fact we need training in righteousness, but not unrighteous. You ever notice that? You don’t need to train a child to be unrighteous, to be rebellious, they’re just naturally rebellious. I mean it’s not like we wake up saying “Okay kids today I’m gonna train you to be rebellious...Today I’m gonna train you to mouth off to mom, give your brother a swirly, and throw gum in your sister’s hair.” You don’t wake up needing to train them to be rebellious, they’re just naturally rebellious...and the fact you can’t get them to stop being rebellious, the fact you can’t even stop yourself from being rebellious tells you just how much you’re in need of a savior. Like I said last week there’s certain things, sins you want to change in your life and if you could’ve done it you would’ve already. But you can’t change them which is why you need a savior. You need Jesus to save you, change you, train you in righteousness. You don’t need help with rebellion, you need help with righteousness, and if we don’t teach our children they need Jesus just as much as we do, they’ll remain powerless in overcoming their sinful rebellion, and their sin will keep robbing them of joy. So let’s be careful not to think training in righteousness is all about training them in right and wrong behaviors like a dog. They might make messes and pee on lawns like a dog, but they’re not dogs. Their inability to change their rebellious hearts tells us it’s a much deeper issue than just training right and wrong behavior, they need their rebellious hearts to be trained to turn to Jesus. So don’t be like “I can’t believe you did that! Go to your room, go to your cage like a dog.” Don’t be like “God you’re such a little rebellious brat!” You need to train them in righteousness, teach them about right and wrong, and teach them to turn to Jesus, because he’s the only one who can save and change their rebellious hearts, and yours. So practically speaking here’s what it looks like to train our children in righteousness. to teach them about Jesus:
#1 You’re here. You’re in church, and that’s a start. You’re teaching your children this is a priority, it’s a primary aim for your life. So keep coming, and be consistent in coming.
#2 Schedule time to study the bible yourself and with your family. It started in Timothy’s home, let it start in your home. For those of you who have little kids you can get the Jesus Storybook Bible, it’ll be a great start for your family. “Yeah, but what if I don’t know how to study the bible?” Then talk with us, and we’ll teach you. Visit our next steps table after the service or talk with me, and we’ll teach you, so you can study the bible in your home.
#3 Use everyday opportunities to teach your children they need Jesus just like you. Paul made it his aim in life to teach and live for Jesus, and we need to make that our aim too. We need to use the everyday opportunities we have to teach our children they need Jesus just as much as we do. I wrote down a few quick examples, and for those of you who don’t have biological children, you can help us reiterate this stuff to our children. But our days are filled with endless opportunities to teach our children that they need Jesus just like us. For example:
When your child sits to eat it’s an opportunity to teach them to be thankful for Jesus giving us provision to eat despite the fact we don’t deserve it for rebelling against him.
When your child has a day off it’s an opportunity to stop working reminding them life’s hard and full of work, but what we don’t have to work for is God’s love since Jesus did all the work of salvation for us on the cross. So let’s rest physically, rest spiritually, and have fun enjoying Jesus, each other, and his amazing creation on our day off.
When your child rebels and sins against you it’s an opportunity to discipline them in a way that cultivates their heart instead of just correcting their behavior. You can show them you’re not an enemy standing against them when they sin, you’re an ally standing with them in their fight against sin. As an ally you can teach them about right and wrong, point them to their need for Jesus, and explain you need Jesus just as much as they do.
When your child fails a test or loses a game it’s an opportunity for you to remind them their life isn’t dependent on a grade or winning a game, it’s dependent on Jesus.
When your son gets rejected by a person, school, or a job they applied for it’s an opportunity to teach him to go to Jesus with his rejections because Jesus won’t ever reject him and has a greater plan for his life that’ll last beyond any temporal tombstone.
When your daughter’s in tears over some boy calling her ugly it’s an opportunity for you to teach her not to live FOR her approval in the world, but to live FROM her approval in Jesus. It’s an opportunity for you to tell her what that guy said isn’t true, because that guy doesn’t define what’s beautiful Jesus does. (You don’t need that guy’s love, you need Jesus’ love. Now show me where the little punk is, I’ll get your brothers to bust him up a bit...And now I’m the one who needs to repent because I shouldn’t have said that...)
But it’s yet again another opportunity for me to teach my children about Jesus and my own need for Jesus. I have to do this more often than I’d like to admit. I have to often go into their rooms saying “Kids I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said and done that, I shouldn’t have flipped out like that, it’s unacceptable. I was angry, I sinned in my anger, I asked Jesus to forgive me, and I want to know if you’ll forgive me too so our relationship can be restored back to joy?” You seeing how this works? I’m trying to teach my kids Daddy needs to be on his knees repenting and asking for Jesus’ help just as much as they do. I’m trying to teach them Daddy’s not the hero, Jesus is the hero. I’m trying to teach them their greatest hope and joy can be found in Jesus, because it’s Jesus who can affect every aspect of their lives. He can affect our singleness, sex, marriage, and parenting. He can affect our temporal tombstone dreams, our rebellious hearts, our self-esteem and identity issues, even the load of parental guilt we carry for failing at being the great parents we desire to be. Having a relationship with Jesus can affect every aspect of our lives, which is why we need him to be our primary aim in life, and use every opportunity we have to teach our children they need him too. Our primary aim in life isn’t to be experience rich, it’s to be rich in Jesus who’s able to make all our experiences rich... our primary aim in life isn’t to be experience rich, it’s to be rich in Jesus who’s able to make all our experiences rich
The Big Idea:
Let’s get to the big idea. Here’s the big idea. It’s okay for our children to be experience rich, but let’s not make them gospel poor. A parent’s greatest teaching and greatest need, is Jesus...A parent’s greatest teaching and greatest need, is Jesus...For those of you who don’t have biological children, remember the children in this church family are your spiritual children, and it’s your responsibility to help grow them too. For those who have biological children, remember you’re gonna mess this parenting thing up. Your children are gonna sometimes rebel, mouth off, cause you to break a few toes on some Legos, even cause you to shed some tears over things they say or do...and sometimes you’ll mess up in how you respond to those things. But it’s in those moments that you need to remind yourself that your greatest teaching and greatest need, is Jesus. It’s in those moments you’ll have an opportunity to teach your children about their need for Jesus and yours. It’s in those moments you’ll have an opportunity to teach them you can’t change either of your rebellious hearts, but you can turn to Jesus who can. You can turn to Jesus who can change your heart, your child’s heart, all our hearts to be more like his. So let’s all turn to Jesus, repent of our sins, believe he lived, died, and rose again for the forgiveness of our sins, and teach our children to do the same. It’s our greatest teaching, and our greatest need.