Generosity in Relationships
Sermon Notes
Today we’re taking a break from the teaching series we’ve been doing called The Story. It’s so we can do a 4 wk series we’re calling Outward, which is about developing a culture of generosity. Generosity’s something we should all want for our lives, families, schools, workplaces, and city. I mean what if our marriages and families experienced more generosity?...What if our schools and workplaces experienced more generosity?... What if our city experienced more generosity?...Both skeptics and believers would agree that our lives, relationships, and city would be far better off if they experienced more generosity than greed, and that’s what this Outward series is about. It’s about developing a culture of generosity.
Now sometimes when churches talk about generosity, they make the mistake of focusing mostly on being generous with our wealth. But a comprehensive biblical view of generosity goes far beyond our wealth, because it’s about living a lifestyle of generosity. For example, you can be generous with your wealth, write big checks, but still not have a generous heart towards the people you’re writing those checks to. It happens all the time when we go to Publix. We might give our wealth to the kids raising money for their football or cheer team, and not ever give them our time. Our time is more valuable than our money, so we give them a few bucks but then hurry past them. We’re being generous with our wealth, but not with our time. You can also give your wealth for selfish reasons, give with strings attached, give with a hidden desire to be praised. You’re being generous with your wealth, but for selfish ambitions. So generosity goes beyond the use of our wealth, and in this series we’ll look at several ways to be generous. Today Jesus is going to teach us to be generous with hospitality and forgiveness in our relationships. So let’s turn to Luke ch 14 and get into it. If you open the bible to the middle, keep turning right, you’ll find the Gospel of Luke. We’ll be in Luke 14:7-24, and the title of today’s message is Generosity in Relationships. The big idea is that generosity includes hospitality and forgiveness in your relationships...Generosity includes hospitality and forgiveness in your relationships...
Context:
Here’s your context. In Luke ch 14 Jesus is invited to dinner at the house of a Pharisee, the house of a Jewish religious leader. There were a bunch of other Jewish religious leaders there too, and vs 1 says they’re all watching Jesus closely, so Jesus is about to teach them a lesson on humility. Ch 14 is all about humility and hospitality in our relationships. Jesus is about to teach both the guests and the host about humility and hospitality in relationships, so let’s check it out.
The Word:
Luke 14:7-24 states, “He told a parable to those who were invited, when he noticed how they would choose the best places for themselves: 8 ‘When you are invited by someone to a wedding banquet, don’t sit in the place of honor, because a more distinguished person than you may have been invited by your host. 9 The one who invited both of you may come and say to you, ‘Give your place to this man,’ and then in humiliation, you will proceed to take the lowest place. 10 But when you are invited, go and sit in the lowest place, so that when the one who invited you comes, he will say to you, ‘Friend, move up higher.’ You will then be honored in the presence of the other guests. 11 For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and the one who humbles himself will be exalted.’” Jesus is speaking directly to the guests at the dinner party, he’s giving them a lesson on humility. He’s speaking about something they culturally understood, which is that people sit based on their relational status to the host. The host gets the seat of honor, and everybody else sits based on their relational status with the host. If you knew the host well, if you were important to their life, or if you had great status in the community, you’d sit closer to the host compared to those who weren’t. Now one of the most humiliating things that could happen to you at a dinner party like this, is if you chose to sit at the wrong seat and the host says, “Hey do you mind giving up your seat for this person? Do you mind sitting closer to the back instead?” It’d be publicly humiliating for that to happen. So what Jesus is teaching the guests at the dinner party, is it’s better to be humble than to be humiliated. It’s better to be humble, to take a seat with less honor, instead of thinking higher of yourself than you should, and being humiliated.
Vs. 12, “Jesus also said to the one who invited him, ‘When you give a lunch or a dinner, don’t invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, your rich neighbors, because they might invite you back and you would be repaid. 13 On the contrary, when you host a banquet invite those who are poor, maimed, lame, or blind. 14 And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you; for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.’” So now Jesus is speaking directly to the host at the dinner party, but he’s also speaking to hosts in general. He’s giving a lesson on showing generous hospitality towards people you have nothing to gain from, towards people who cannot repay you. He’s challenging their view of generous hospitality being based on transactional relationships and what you can get from somebody in return. Back then people often hosted parties for personal gain. It was to build social status and help with business transactions. So Jesus isn’t saying we can’t ever show generous hospitality to our friends, family, and rich neighbors. He’s saying be careful of showing generous hospitality for personal gain, because that isn’t really generosity at all. If you serve somebody to get something in return, then you’re being selfish not generous. It you serve your spouse to get something in return, you’re being selfish not generous. If you serve your parents to get something in return, you’re being selfish not generous. If you serve your friends, your boss, your neighbor to get something in return, you’re being selfish not generous. Instead of serving out of a genuine love for them, you’re serving to get something from them, and Jesus says that isn’t generous hospitality at all.
Now the kind of generous hospitality Jesus is talking about here goes much deeper than simply inviting people to a dinner party. He’s talking about something much more radical than that. Tim Keller uses the example of inviting people into our home. Keller states, “Your home isn’t just an enclosure, it’s a shelter from a stormy blast. It’s the place where out there you’re drained, but inside you get rejuvenated. Your home is a place of warmth, food, nourishment, and rest...Hospitality is welcoming people into that living space, welcoming them into the heart of your life. It’s bringing them in, and refreshing them with the same things that refresh you.” So true generous hospitality is about helping people refresh their lives in ways that leave them better than before they entered your living space. In vs 13 Jesus says this should include those who aren’t our friends and family. If you only care for your own people, you aren’t being generous since you’re only caring for your own kind. Jesus is saying true generosity is when you not only care for your own people, you care for other people too. Jesus was often ridiculed for eating and interacting with people who were the outcasts in society. Like vs 1 said the Pharisees watched him closely and often ridiculed him saying, “Why is he eating with prostitutes, tax collectors, and sinners?” It’s because it went against their understanding of transactional relationship hospitality. Jesus served people he had absolutely nothing to gain from. He was generously hospitable to people not to gain something from them, but because he genuinely loved them.
Vs. 15, “When one of those who reclined at the table with him heard these things, he said to him, ‘Blessed is the one who will eat bread in the kingdom of God!’ 16 Then Jesus told him, ‘A man was giving a large banquet and invited many. 17 At the time of the banquet, he sent his servant to tell those who were invited, ‘Come, because everything is now ready.’ 18 But without exception they all began to make excuses. The first one said to him, ‘I have bought a field, and I must go out and see it. I ask you to excuse me.’ 19 Another said, ‘I have bought five yoke of oxen, and I’m going to try them out. I ask you to excuse me.’ 20 And another said, ‘I just got married, and therefore I’m unable to come.’ 21 So the servant came back and reported these things to his master. Then in anger, the master of the house told his servant, ‘Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the city, and bring in here the poor, maimed, blind, and lame.’ 22 ‘Master,’ the servant said, ‘what you ordered has been done, and there’s still room.’ 23 Then the master told the servant, ‘Go out into the highways and hedges, and make them come in so that my house may be filled. 24 For I tell you, not one of those people who were invited will enjoy my banquet.’” The banquet Jesus is talking about here is an even greater banquet in heaven. We know this because in vs 15 one of the guests starts talking about eating bread in the kingdom of God. But Jesus tells them he’s the greater host who invites us to enjoy an even greater banquet in heaven with him. He invites us into his personal living space, into his personal home, to receive eternal healing, restoration, rest for our busted up weary souls. It’s the ultimate banquet, the ultimate home we’re all longing for. Sometimes when we’re at a friend’s house or on vacation we’re like “This is such a beautiful home. It has a theater room, an infinity pool, a waterfall...It has a nice view, and it smells brand new. I love this home! I wish I had a home like this!” But the problem is nobody has the perfect home! We may think some people have a perfect home, but everybody’s home has blemishes physically, even blemishes emotionally with a bunch of family baggage.
The home Jesus invites us to is his perfect heavenly home! He extends his invitation for us to enjoy his generous hospitality, but not everybody will accept his invitation. He extends his invitation for us to enjoy his generous hospitality to the point of laying his life down for our sins, so we can be a part of his eternal family and enjoy his perfect eternal home. His first miracle was in John ch 2 he turned water into wine at a wedding, to show us he came to turn our tears into dancing again through faith in him. He wants us to do the same with our generous hospitality towards others. Instead of adding to people’s tears, he wants us to help relieve people’s tears through generous hospitality, pointing people to his even greater hospitality. Now in Luke 17 he teaches us another way to be generous in our relationships, and it has to do with forgiveness. This is important because when you’re hospitable like Jesus was, you have a chance to be rejected like Jesus was. When you start building relationships with people you’ll face some issues, and unforgiveness can start to dismantle those relationships you’ve built. So let’s turn to Luke 17:3-6 and see what Jesus says about being generous with our forgiveness.
Luke 17:3-6 Jesus said, “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.” The word rebukedoesn’t mean to reject them, to beat them down, or to point out every sin in their life. It means to help them become aware of their sin, for the purpose of restoring them and helping them to overcome their sin. It’s about restoration, not rejection. It’s also important to realize that the word forgive doesn’t mean to let somebody keep walking all over you. If it meant that, then there wouldn’t be any need for the rebuke. There wouldn’t be any need for talking with the person about their sin. So Jesus is talking about rebuking or confronting sin with a heart of restoration, but also with a heart of forgiveness that doesn’t condone people’s sins.
Again vs. 3, “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. 4 And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and comes back to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” There’s nothing easy about what Jesus is saying here. In fact, it’s even harder than most of us probably realize, because we tend to get caught up in the number seven. But the number seven was a symbolic number for the Jews that represented perfection or something that was complete. For example, if a Jew invited you to their house saying “Hey come over for dinner tonight. I have a seven fish meal.” It’s kind of like us saying we have a 5-course meal, we have a complete meal. They aren’t saying they have seven literal fish, instead they’re saying they have a complete meal, a full meal to eat. So when Jesus says we’re to forgive somebody who’s sinned against us seven times, he isn’t talking about seven literal times. He’s talking about somebody sinning against us in the most complete and fullest way possible. If somebody sinned against us seven literal times in a single day, we’d be like “You aren’t repenting, you aren’t really wanting to change. Your repentance isn’t genuine, and I can’t keep letting you walk all over me, I can’t keep enabling your sin.” But Jesus isn’t talking about forgiving repetitious sin, he’s talking about forgiving somebody who’s sinned against you in the most complete, fullest way possible. He’s talking about the kind of sin you can’t sweep under the rug or just get over it like some people might tell you. That’s what makes this so difficult! It’s because this isn’t some minor thing Jesus is telling us to forgive. He’s telling us to forgive something major, to forgive the worse thing somebody could ever possibly do to us. Simply put, he’s telling us to forgive everything.
Vs. 5, “The apostles said to the Lord, ‘Increase our faith.’” The apostles are feeling the same weight we’re feeling from this teaching. The reason they say increase our faith, is because they know it’s hard to live this out! They’re saying if we’re going to live this out, if we’re going to be generous with forgiveness, then we need a stronger increased faith. But here’s what Jesus says.
Vs. 6, “‘If you have faith the size of a mustard seed,’ the Lord said, ‘you can say to this mulberry tree, be uprooted and planted in the sea, and it will obey you.’” A mustard seed is one of the smallest seeds in their geographical location. So what Jesus is saying is, “You think you need increased faith to live this out, to forgive like this, but you already have all the faith you need. If you have faith in me, then you already have all the faith you need to forgive like me.” He isn’t talking about having faith in general, he’s talking about having faith in who he is and the forgiveness he came to give. He’s God incarnate, God in the flesh who came to die for our sins on the cross. We’ve not only sinned against him repeatedly, we’ve sinned against him completely, and so we don’t deserve his forgiveness. We’ve sinned against him repeatedly and completely, but he’s also forgiven us repeatedly and completely through the cross. Jesus is saying the more we realize this, the more we realize how much we’ve been forgiven of, the more forgiving we’ll become of others. He’s saying if we have just a tiny mustard seed of faith in who he is and what he’s done, that tiny seed of faith is enough to help us become forgiving like him. So the way to be rich in forgiveness, is to be poor in self-righteousness...The way to be rich in forgiveness, the way to be generous with forgiveness in our relationships, is to be poor in self-righteousness...
But the problem we have in our relationships is we tend to reverse that, we tend to be poor in forgiveness, because we’re rich in self-righteousness. We tend to be double standard when it comes to our own sinfulness. For example if somebody lies to us, we’re like “I can’t trust that person anymore. They’re a liar!” But when we lie we make excuses, try downplaying it, try convincing others we’re still trustworthy. It’s a double standard when we villainize people who lie against us, but still consider ourselves trustworthy even though we’ve lied against others. The reality is we’re all liars! We all keep lying to ourselves thinking we’re more righteous than we are, and it hinders us from being generous with forgiveness in our relationships. The way to be generous with forgiveness in our relationships, is to be poor in self-righteousness. The way to be rich in forgiveness, is to be poor in self-righteousness. It’s hard, it’s difficult, but Jesus says even a tiny seed of faith in his grace, can turn you into a person who forgives like he’s forgiven us.
The Big Idea:
The big idea of the message is that generosity includes hospitality and forgiveness in your relationships...Generosity isn’t just about wealth, it’s also about your hospitality and forgiveness in your relationships...Are you being generous with hospitality?...Are you being generous with hospitality in your relationships and our city?...You’ll have a chance this week, because we’re giving each household in our church a $20 gift card to help extend generous hospitality in our city. This teaching series is called Outward, so we’re giving you a $20 gift card to step Outward beyond our church, to help extend generous hospitality in our city. We’ll give you more info and practical ways to use that $20 at the end of the service, but the question is are you being generous with hospitality?...Are you being generous with hospitality in your relationships and our city?...
You’ll also have a chance this week to be generous with forgiveness! At some point this week somebody’s going to wrong you, offend you, upset you, and you’ll have a chance to be generous with forgiveness. Some of you may not even make it to the parking lot after picking up your kids from children’s church!...Some of you are going to get angry at your kids, get angry at your siblings, or just get flat out hangry because you’re tired and ready to eat...At some point today, at some point this week, you’ll have a chance to be generous with forgiveness. So it isn’t if that moment comes, it’s when that moment comes, you’ll have a chance to be generous with forgiveness. You’ll have a chance to remember to be rich in forgiveness, and poor in self-righteousness. You’ll have a chance to remember to forgive, like Jesus has forgiven you. Let’s pray.