I Am Forgiven
Sermon Audio
Sermon Notes
Intro:
Hey everybody my name’s Louis, I’m one of the pastor’s here at the church, it’s great to be with you this morning. Today we’re continuing our series called “Identity: I am __” and it’s all about who God says we are, not who society’s molded us to be. It’s about who God says we are, not who society’s molded us to be, and one of the things we’ve been taught growing up is when somebody wrongs us, when somebody makes us angry, we can respond in one of two ways. We can either hit them back in anger, or hide our anger within...We can either hit the person back in anger, verbally attacking them, possibly even physically attacking them, or we can hide our anger, burry our anger within through conflict avoidance. How do you typically respond, do you hit or hide?..When somebody wrongs you, somebody makes you angry, your spouse says something hurtful, your kids disrespect you, or you engage in a heated discussion do you hit back in anger, or do you hide your anger within? Do you hit or hide? Here’s the thing about these two responses, it’s that neither of them are helpful, and here’s how you know.
If you got in a fight with someone close to you like a spouse, a child, or a best friend and a counselor said, “Wow! You both are really angry. I think you should try hit them back therapy. I want you both to sit on these Freudian yoga mats, hit each other back as hard as you can, say the most hurtful things you can say to each other, and if that doesn’t work, I want you to hit each other in the face. Okay ready? Go!” You wouldn’t take that advice right? You wouldn’t take that advice, because you know hit them back therapy’s never helpful, it’s always hurtful, and makes your life feel like it’s a constant cage fight...But what if the counselor said, “I have a different therapy, a much more passive therapy, it’s called hide it therapy. So what I want you to do is to go back to the Freudian mats, get into child’s pose, and ignore your anger acting like it never happened.” You wouldn’t take that advice either right? You wouldn’t take that advice because you know hide it therapy’s never helpful, it’s always hurtful, and it’ll make your life feel like it’s a constant volcano. You’ll have lots of activity happening on the inside, as your anger manifests itself in stomach aches, backaches, migraines, passive aggression, and if there’s enough build up, one day you’ll explode on somebody like a volcano. Both hit them back and hide it therapy aren’t helpful when dealing with anger, yet these are the two approaches we tend to take because it’s what we’ve been taught. We’ve been taught to either hit them back in anger, or hide our anger within, but Christianity teaches us a 3rd approach to dealing with anger, and that’s what we’re gonna talk about today. So let’s turn to Ephesians 4:25-32 and get into it. The title of today’s message is “I Am Forgiven.” I can forgive, because I am forgiven.
Context:
Here’s your context. Paul starts Ephesians 4 by talking about how Christians need to walk in a manner worthy of their calling, and he says they need to be eager to maintain unity with each other. The way we do this is by living like the new people we are in Jesus, not like the old people we were apart from Jesus. In vs. 17-24 Paul specifically says we need to “put off” our old way of life, “put on” our new way of life, and Jesus will help us do that. He’ll help us to live like the new person we are, not like the old person we were. Now in today’s text Paul’s gonna give us some specific examples of things we need to “put off” and “put on,” especially when it comes to how Christians should treat each other in Christian community. He talks a lot about anger in the text, which gives us a realistic expectation of Christian community, unlike some people who think Christians shouldn’t ever fight or get angry in church. But Paul has realistic expectations about Christian Community, so he talks about anger and how to handle anger in healthy ways. We’re gonna take a look at not all the put off put on examples he gives, just the ones that’ll be helpful in dealing with anger, and I’ll give us 5 practical applications as we go so our anger doesn’t threaten our walk or our unity like Paul said. Let’s check it out.
The Word:
Ephesians 4:25-34 states this, “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.” Notice the “put off” and “put on” example Paul gives. He says we need to put off “falsehood,” and put on “speaking the truth.” The Greek word for “falsehood” means “to lie,” so Paul’s saying instead of lying we need to speak the truth, and that’s your 1st application when dealing with anger.
#1 Speak The Truth = We need to speak the truth when dealing with anger, and notice who Paul says we need to speak the truth with? Our neighbor...He says we need to speak the truth with our neighbor. Not ABOUT our neighbor, but WITH our neighbor. This is especially true when we’re angry because a lot of times when we’re angry we go plural, not singular. We go plural, meaning we go to other people, other neighbors to talk about the person who wronged us. We do this because we want our feelings validated. But Paul doesn’t go plural, he goes singular; he says neighbor, not neighbors. He says we need to speak the truth with our neighbor, not neighbors. Simply put, we need to talk it out, not gossip it out..When you’re angry you need to talk it out with the person you’re angry with, not gossip it out. Is it okay to go to 1-2 people for advice? Yes, just check your gossip when you get advice, because gossip is destructive. In fact Ligonier Ministries did an article on this text and mentioned gossip as a sin that’s contrary to telling the truth. Ligonier stated, “Spreading incomplete information or unconfirmed rumors can destroy another person’s reputation, as can revealing secrets about an individual to others who have no reason to know the said information...When we lie and gossip, we bear false witness to the God of truth who has transformed our hearts...” When we lie, when we gossip we speak falsehood against the very transformative power of God. It’s because our lives should reflect His transformative power by speaking the truth WITH our neighbor, not talking about our neighbor to other neighbors. We need to put off falsehood, and tell the truth, especially when we’re angry.
Again vs. 25, “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. 26 Be angry and do not sin...” There’s another put off put on example. Paul says “be angry,” and “do not sin.” Some of you might be shocked to hear that because a lot of times we equate anger with sin, but not all anger is sinful. If we’re angry about things God’s angry about, then our anger is just. But if we’re angry about things God’s not angry about, then our anger is unjust. God’s angry about sin, we should be angry about sin. God’s angry about lying and gossip, we should be angry about lying and gossip. God’s NOT angry about the Giants missing the super bowl...maybe...but if God’s not angry about that I shouldn’t be either. Ephesians 5:1-2 says we need to be imitators of God, which means we need to be angry about the right thing, we need to be angry about the things God’s angry about, and we need to make sure we don’t sin in our expression of that anger, which is #2.
#2 Be Angry, But Don’t Sin = Be angry, but don’t sin in your expression of that anger. When I first became a Christian I used to struggle with how to deal with anger. I mean I grew up boxing and kickboxing so my default was literally hit them back therapy. I wasn’t taught to turn the other cheek, I was taught to turn the other person’s cheek. But after becoming a Christian I thought I had to switch to hide it therapy. So I started trying to hide and suppress my anger until one day somebody told me the bible commands us to be angry. I was like “Oh that’s great! I’ve been training for beat down evangelism my whole life! I’ll beat them down and pray over them later.” No, can’t do that either. “Well if it’s not hit them back or hide it therapy then what do I do with my anger?” It was all so confusing to me as a Christian. But vs. 26 challenges both hit them back and hide it therapy. Paul says “be angry” which goes against hide it therapy, and he says “do not sin” in your anger which goes against hit them back therapy. Paul’s teaching us a 3rd approach, a different approach to anger. It’s to express our anger, but not sin in our expression of that anger. Well how do we do that? By speaking the truth with our neighbor instead of talking about our neighbor, by being angry about the things God’s angry about, and here comes #3.
Again vs. 26, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and give no opportunity to the devil.” This is still a part of the last put off put on example. Paul says don’t let the sun go down on our anger, implying we shouldn’t hold onto anger for long. It’s exactly why he tells us in vs. 31 that we should “put away” anger. He’s not contradicting himself in vs. 31, he’s simply warning us about the dangers of holding onto anger for too long. If we hold onto anger too long it can lead to things like bitterness, rage, slander, all the things he mentions in vs. 31. So when he says don’t let the sun go down on your anger, he’s saying don’t hold onto your anger too long. You need to put it away, you need to address it quickly, which is #3.
#3 Address It Quickly = We need to address our anger quickly. Why? Because it prevents our anger from building and it prevents the devil from having an opportunity to stir the pot. Man I love how relevant and practical the bible is. I mean you and I both know what Paul’s saying is true. The worse night’s sleep I ever get is when I go to bed angry, especially if I’m angry with my wife. When I go to bed angry with my wife our bed’s parted like the red sea with the devil sleeping in the middle. It’s me here, my wife here, the devil in the middle stirring the pot. Paul says don’t let that happen, don’t give the devil an opportunity. We need to address our anger quickly, before the sun goes down. If you don’t? Your anger will build, the devil will stir the pot, and your anger will come out eventually in ways like Paul describes in vs. 31. Eventually it’ll spill out on your spouse, your kids, your family, your friends, your health, somebody. The longer you hold onto your anger, the longer your anger will have a hold on you, it’ll eventually spill out into your relationships. Paul says put it to death... You need to put it to death, before it puts you and your relationship to death. You need to address it quickly, before the sun goes down.
Vs. 28, “Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. 29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Paul’s saying we need to watch our mouths. We need to watch our mouths when we’re angry. We shouldn’t speak any “corrupt talk,” any corrupt words that’ll beat people down, instead we should speak edifying words that’ll build people up. In fact the Greek word for “corrupt” means “rotten” or “bad,” and it’s often used to describe spoiled fruit or rotten fish. Paul’s saying our words should never be corrupt or rotten like that, because it’ll only cause our relationships to rot. Ligonier states, “Our hateful speech, undiscerning words, and statements delivered at inopportune times can destroy relationships, end careers, and otherwise bring us much pain…Putting off our old selves in favor of Christ means putting away vulgarity, spiteful speech, mocking of others’ flaws, and other corrupt talk. Christians must never utter a harmful word…Words with such corruption bring decay to the bonds of fellowship in the church, undermining the effectiveness of the covenant community.” Corrupt words, rotten words, will only cause our relationships to slowly decay and rot away. So #4...
#4 Speak Edifying Words = We need to speak edifying words when dealing with anger. But it’s tempting to use hurtful, corrupt words, especially if you’re short fused. I mean some of us are shorter fused than others, and we’re quick to snap back in anger with our words. Jesus’ little brother mentioned this in James 1:19 stating, “Be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” He says be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, and our bodies are well equipped for this, because we’ve been given 2 ears and 1 tongue. Our ears are both open, but our tongue is caged behind bars, they’re caged behind our teeth. So when someone makes us angry, we should remind ourselves of what Jesus’ little brother said which is to be quick to hear, and slow to unleash the cage to our tongue. It’s part of what it means to put off and put on. We need to put off using corrupt words to beat people down, and put on edifying words to help build people up. We need to watch our mouths when we’re angry, and use edifying words.
Vs. 30, “And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God...” Okay let’s pause...Let’s pause for a second...Have you ever thought of God like that before?..Have you ever thought of how God grieves over you like a parent grieves over their child?..He doesn’t get depressed and His power isn’t weakened like us, but He does grieve over us like a parent grieves over their child. He grieves over our hurts, our pains, our sins. He grieves over you like a parent grieves over their child. This should tell you just how much God loves you, because you only grieve something if you love it...You only grieve something if you love it, and since God grieves us, it means God loves us. He loves us so much, that He’s willing to grieve over us like a parent grieves over their child, and that should affect our desire to resist sin and follow Him. We should want to resist sin and follow Him not because of moralism, legalism, or because it’s the right thing to do, but because we don’t want to hurt the One who loves us. We want to resist sin, gossip, letting the sun go down on our anger, using corrupt words, and follow God because we love God and don’t want to hurt this God who loves us so much, that He’s willing to grieve over us like a parent grieves over their child. The God of Christianity is so personal. Far too often we think impersonally about our personal God. But the God of Christianity is so personal. He’s personal enough to giver over our sin, and even forgive us when we do sin, which Paul turns to next.
Again vs. 30, “And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Notice the identity indicator, notice Paul says we’re forgiven, “In Christ. We’re forgiven, in Christ, meaning when you believe in the gospel, when you believe Jesus lived, died, and rose again for your sins, you’re now forgiven in Christ. You’re now forgiven in Christ, God gives you an infinite amount of forgiveness, so that you can now say “I...Am...Forgiven...” I am forgiven, and because I’m forgiven, I can forgive, which leads to #5...
#5 Look At Your Own Depravity, and Forgive = When dealing with anger you need to look at your own depravity, and forgive. Paul says we need to “forgive one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Well in order to know how God in Christ forgave you, you have to be willing to look at your own depravity to see how he’s forgiven you. In fact when I struggle with forgiving someone this is usually the issue. It’s because I’m looking harder at the other person’s depravity than I am my own. I mean forgiveness is a choice, it’s a part of the putting off and putting on that Paul’s been talking about. When I’m wounded, when I’m wronged, when I’m angry, I need to make the choice to put off unforgiveness, and to put on forgiveness. It’s a choice, and when I choose not to forgive it’s not because I can’t forgive, it’s because I’m not looking hard enough into my own depravity. I’m too busy looking at the other person’s depravity thinking they don’t deserve forgiveness, that I fail to look at my own depravity and how I don’t deserve forgiveness either. But the more you look into your own depravity the more forgiving you’ll be towards other people’s depravity...The more you look into your own depravity and truly understand just how much Jesus has forgiven you, and how often He’s forgiven you, the more forgiving you’ll be towards other people’s depravity. City Awakening Jesus has forgiven us of so much and so often, that we should never be so self-righteous or arrogant, to think we should do otherwise...I know it’s hard, especially if your wounds are deep. But if you take an honest look at your own depravity and the forgiveness Jesus gives you, you’ll realize it’s necessary. This is what Paul’s saying when he says forgive as we’ve been forgiven. He’s saying when we’re angry, we need to look at our own depravity, realize how much we’ve been forgiven of, and choose to forgive just as we’ve been forgiven. I can forgive, because I am forgiven.
The Big Idea:
Let’s get to the big idea. Here’s the big idea. I can forgive, because I am forgiven...I can forgive, because I am forgiven...Look when dealing with anger and forgiveness you have a choice...You have a choice...If you choose hit them back therapy, your life will feel like a cage fight and you’ll express your anger in sinful ways like corrupt words, brawling, and rage. If you choose hide it therapy, your life will feel like a constant volcano and you’ll express your anger in sinful ways like bitterness, gossip, slander, and parts of the volcano seeping out or eventually erupting. But if you choose to follow the bible’s approach as Paul teaches, you’ll be able to express your anger in righteous ways, put away your anger so it doesn’t control you, and forgive the very people who anger you. You’ll be able to forgive, just as God in Christ has forgiven you. I can forgive, because I am forgiven...I can forgive, especially after looking at my own depravity.
Communion is a great reminder for us to look at our own depravity...It’s a reminder for us to look at our own depravity, and need for God’s grace. Let’s go ahead and pass the plates as we prepare to celebrate Communion, and as the plates are being passed just take the bread and cup and hold it in your hands until I can explain Communion. If you’re not a Christian please allow the plates to pass you by, unless you’re willing to repent of your sins and believe that Jesus was God who put on flesh to live, die, and rise again for your sins. But Communion is a reminder of our own depravity, and our need for God’s grace...It’s an outward expression of the gospel, an outward expression of the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus for the forgiveness of our sins. On the night Jesus was betrayed he was gathering with his disciples sharing a meal with them. He took the bread at the table, blessed it, gave thanks for it, and then broke it saying, “This is my body which is about to be broken for you. As often as you eat it, do so in remembrance of me, in remembrance of who I am and what I’ve done for you. Do so in remembrance of the gospel.” Then after supper was over he took the cup, blessed it, gave thanks for it, and said, “This cup is a symbol of my blood which is to be shed for you and for many for the forgiveness of sins. As often as you drink it, do so in remembrance of me, in remembrance of the gospel.” City Awakening let’s eat, let’s drink, and let’s take a few minutes to reflect on our own depravity, our own need for God’s grace, so our hearts will be prepped to forgive, just as we’ve been forgiven.