Conflicts & Grace
Sermon Audio
Sermon Notes
Intro:
Hey everybody my name’s Louis, I’m one of the pastor’s here at the church, it’s great to be with you this morning. Today we’re continuing our series on a book of the bible Jesus’ little brother wrote called James, and today James is gonna talk with us about something we can’t avoid which is conflicts. Sooner or later everybody faces conflicts. We face conflicts in marriage, family, friendships, dating, school, work, even in churches. We face conflicts even in churches, and the reason is because we haven’t reached our final destination, we haven’t been fully transformed yet, and as long as we live in this sin fallen world we’re gonna have stumbling moments in our pursuit of holiness, we’re gonna have conflicts. As long as we live in this sin fallen world everybody, Christian or no,t will have conflicts. Everybody faces conflicts, and today James is gonna teach us two things about conflict. He’s gonna teach us the source and the solution. He’s gonna teach us the source of conflict, and the solution to conflict. So let’s turn to James 4:1-12 and get into it. The title of today’s message is “Conflict and Grace.”
Context:
Here’s your context. In ch.’s 2-3 James focuses a lot on being not just hearers of the word but doers of the word, he focuses a lot on Christians living out their faith by their actions, words, and where they seek wisdom from. James is constantly doing this, he’s constantly showing us that true Christians are to live, act, speak, and think differently than the rest of the world so they can be small reflections of Jesus to the world. He expects Christians and churches to reflect his brother’s love, to reflect Jesus’ love. But in ch. 4 we learn there’s a lot of conflicts happening in the church, so James gives them a dose of “tough love” for not handling conflict differently than the world, for not being reflections of Jesus to the world. Let’s hear what he has to say.
The Word:
James 3:1-12 states, “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you?” Notice the plurality. He says “quarrels” and “fights,” meaning he’s talking about multiple quarrels and fights, he’s talking about a continuous pattern of quarrels, fights, and conflicts that’ve developed in the church, and what’s interesting is he never once tells us to avoid it. Some of you want that, you want to avoid conflict, but you can’t. I don’t care how great of a conflict avoider you are, you can’t avoid conflict forever. Sooner or later everybody faces conflict, and James is asking what’s the source, what’s the source of our conflicts? He’s about to tell us.
Again vs. 1, “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?” There’s the source of our conflicts, it’s “your passions.” James says it’s “your passions,” and notice he says they’re at war “within you,” meaning it starts as an internal problem before it’s an external problem. Your quarrels, fights, conflicts all start as an internal problem “within you,” within your heart. He’s not saying all passions are bad as if God’s a cosmic kill joy, because He’s not. God’s not a cosmic kill joy who wants to squash all our passions and joy, instead God wants to take us deeper into His presence where we’ll experience the fullness of passion and joy. Psalm 16:11 states, “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” God wants to take us deeper into His presence where we’ll experience the fullness of passion and joy, and so let’s not overstate what James is saying about our passions, because he’s not talking about all passions he’s talking about all “selfish” passions. It’s our selfish passions that are the source of all conflict. In fact the Greek word for “passions” is hedone which is where we get the word “hedonism” from, and it means “to please yourself.” It’s selfish passions that only focus on pleasing yourself, not God or anyone else. Can you imagine if we lived our lives like that? I mean what do you think would happen if you lived your life focused on only pleasing yourself in marriage, family, friendships, and your other relationships? I don’t have to tell you what would happen because you already know, you’re living it! You and I both are living it and feeling the results of relationships where people focus more on serving themselves over God or anyone else, and it always leads to conflicts. James says if you dig deep enough, at the bottom of all your conflicts you’ll find a seed of selfish, hedonistic passions from within. You’ll find a desire to serve ourselves. The source of every conflict is a selfish, hedonistic, passion from within.
Again vs. 1, “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? 2 You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. 3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.” There it is again. James is talking about our selfish hedones, our selfish, hedonistic, passions even when it comes to our prayers. It’s interesting if you think about it, because our prayers reveal a lot about our passions. I mean most of our prayers this past week would probably reveal a self-centered passion for ourselves over God and others. Even our lack of prayer would reveal we’re not as passionate about pursing God as we think, and James’ point is that even our prayers are filled with selfish, hedonistic, passions from within. He invites us to pray for ourselves in vs. 2 when he says, “You don’t have, because you don’t ask,” but in vs. 3 he tells us the issue with our prayers is we have wrong, selfish, motives with very little care for what God wants when we pray. It’s evidenced by our tantrums when God doesn’t give us what we want. Our tantrums reveal we don’t really want what God wants, we want what we want. Personally I had a reality check on this about a month ago. I was praying for something I wanted and the Lord did the exact opposite of what I was praying for, so I threw a tantrum. I threw a tantrum, and my wife was like, “Yeah that’ll get you what you want. Throwing tantrums with God is like our kids throwing tantrums with us. It’ll get you nowhere.” I didn’t like her answer so I grumbled, threw a tantrum, and walked away...But she was right, and it reminded me of just how selfish my prayer life really is, because as soon as I don’t get what I want I tantrum...Okay so listen, you’re gonna struggle with prayer...You’re gonna struggle with prayer...You’re gonna struggle with praying the right things in the right way, but don’t beat yourself up over that because God’s so loving and gracious that He still invites you to pray like James says in vs. 2. God will never hit the decline button, He’ll never send you to voicemail when you pray. So don’t go beating yourself up over prayer, instead keep praying, keep asking God for what you want, but eventually make the shift to praying for others and asking God to align your heart with His heart, align your will with His will, align your passions with His passions. The source of every conflict is selfish, hedonistic, passions from within, and our prayers and tantrums reveal this. They reveal just how selfishly hedonistic we really are.
Vs. 4, “You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.” James uses strong language here to stress the severity of conflicts, especially conflicts within the church. He calls them “adulterous people” to symbolize their unfaithfulness to God. They’re committing adultery with the world because they’re showing they have a greater love for the world over Jesus by living as the world lives. It’s seen throughout the book of James by their actions, tongues, wisdom, and selfish, hedonistic, passions that are causing conflicts. It’s all physical manifestations of their adultery with the world, and when James talks about “friendship with the world” he’s not saying we can’t be friends with people in the world, because if that were the case none of us would’ve ever become friends with Jesus. Jesus was constantly making friends with people in the world, but he did it without sin, without sacrificing his beliefs, without living like the world, which is James’ point. He’s saying don’t imitate the world, because to imitate the world is to choose friendship with the world over Jesus. It’s to make Jesus your enemy because you’re working against Jesus by being a poor reflection of Jesus to the world. The watching world has no reason to listen to you talk about the great hope we have in our friendship with Jesus, if your life isn’t any different than the world that doesn’t have friendship with Jesus. James is telling us to not be imitators of the world, so we don’t work against Jesus.
Vs. 5, “Or do you suppose it is to no purpose that the Scripture says, ‘He yearns jealously over the spirit that he has made to dwell in us?’ 6 But he gives more grace.” There it is, there’s the solution to conflict, it’s God’ grace. James gives us the source of conflict, but now he’s giving us the solution, and it’s God’s grace. God’s willing to give us more grace in conflict, and sometimes it happens without you even asking for it. There’s been numerous times in my pastoral ministry where God’s given me more grace in moments of conflict so I could handle things above reproach. I mean God literally poured out His grace on me in certain situations and prevented me from saying or doing something stupid that would’ve jeopardized my leadership as a pastor. I’m not saying I’m perfect in conflict, because I’m not. But God’s grace has grown me tremendously over the years when it comes to handling conflict, and I still need more. I still need more of God’s grace so I can keep growing in handling conflict more like Jesus and less like the world. God’s grace is what we all need when dealing with conflict because it’s hard to keep our emotions under control in conflict. When the heat starts rising and you’re about to lose control, you’re about to say or do something stupid, what you need more than anything is God’s grace. You need God’s grace to take control when you’re about to lose control, and here’s the good news...He’s willing to give it...James says God’s willing to give it...But He gives more grace!..God gives more grace to help us grow in handling conflict more like Jesus, and He’ll even give us more grace when we fail to handle conflict like Jesus. But he gives more grace!
Again vs. 6, “But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’” Okay so notice who God gives more grace, it’s to “the humble.” It’s not to the proud, it’s to the humble, meaning to those who are humble friends with Jesus. Now don’t mistake humility with being a pushover, because again James doesn’t tell us to avoid conflict, instead he tells us the source and solution to conflict. So being humble doesn’t mean being a pushover or letting people walk all over you, it’s a quiet strength, an inner strength where you don’t get threatened by what others say or do in conflict which allows you to remain calm and handle things more clearly. The prideful person’s weak and feels threatened by conflict, so they feel they need to defend their worth, their character, their position, even hold grudges until the other person gives in. Humility’s strength, pride’s weakness. Bestselling author, scholar, theologian Tim Keller states, “Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less. It’s not being focused on yourself, because inside you are supremely confident of your own worth, and that God is taking care of the circumstances of your life.” It’s a quiet strength, an inner strength where you don’t feel threatened in conflict, because you know your worth in God, you know God’s grace is covering you and will take care of things, so there’s nothing to fear. James is saying when you’re in a conflict and you’re about to lose control, pursue God’s grace and be humble, because God’s willing to give grace to those who humbly pursue friendship with Him. So the solution isn’t to avoid conflict, it’s to handle conflict with God’s grace and humility.
Again vs. 6, “But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’ 7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” James says we need to resist the devil because the devil loves conflict. The devil loves to stir up conflict and stir up our pride in conflict so we don’t pursue God’s grace and humility. He loves to stir up conflict especially in the church amongst Christians. He does this to slow the spread of the gospel in and through the church. Satan can’t possess Christians, but he can tempt us, whisper lies in our ears, and convince even more mature Christians to say and do ungodly things, to stir up conflict and slow the spread of the gospel. It’s very confusing to people when this happens, especially when it’s a Christian leader. We’re like, “I can’t believe that happened. I can’t believe they did that.” But even more mature Christians can be led astray by the voice of Satan, and they might not even realize it’s happening, until Jesus decides to confront it. We see it happen in Matthew 16 when Jesus and his friend Peter are hanging out. Jesus tells Peter he’s gonna die for our sins, Peter tries to sway Jesus not to, and Jesus says “Get behind me Satan.” He doesn’t say get behind me Peter, he says get behind me Satan. Jesus speaks directly to Satan because he knows in that moment Peter’s not listening to his voice, he’s listen to Satan’s voice. Satan’s trying to keep the gospel from spreading, he whispers in Peter’s ear, and Peter doesn’t even realize the stirring in his heart’s from Satan. He thinks he’s doing a good thing for Jesus, but he’s actually going against Jesus. So Jesus speaks directly to Satan because he knows it’s Satan’s voice that’s behind this conflict. Satan can’t possess us, but he can sway us and lead us in directions we shouldn’t go. But God’s willing to give us more grace so we can have a way out of Satan’s temptations, and so we can grow in learning to hear, trust, and follow His voice over Satan’s. James says resist the devil, because the devil loves to stir up conflict.
Vs. 8, “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. 9 Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. 10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.” James says we need to draw near to God because when you draw near to God it’ll make Satan flee. But again James says you need to humble yourself. He says you need to “cleanse your hands,” meaning you need to humble yourself and repent of any sins you’ve committed, especially in conflict. He’s saying don’t listen to Satan, don’t hold onto your pride, don’t get your hands dirty by flinging mud at the people you’re in a conflict with. Instead own up to anything you’ve done wrong, and humbly repent for it so you can receive more grace.
Vs. 11, “Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. 12 There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?” He says “Who are you to judge your neighbor? Who are you to play judge, jury, and executioner in conflict?” A lot of times that’s what happens in conflict, we like to play judge, jury, and executioner. But James is saying, “You don’t get to play judge, jury, and executioner because there’s only one judge and that judge is Jesus!” When James says there’s only “one lawgiver and judge” he’s talking about Jesus. He’s saying only Jesus gets to judge, and because Jesus has been so gracious and loving toward us, we should be gracious and loving toward others, even in conflict. Tim Keller states, “Why should I be selfish when I’m full of real wealth and love? Why should I be defensive when all charges against me have been dismissed by the real judge? Why should I be offended when I have the love of the King of the universe? Why should I begrudge giving forgiveness when I’m washed in Christ’s forgiveness now? Humble yourself before the Lord, and He will lift you up.” Humble yourself before the Lord, and he will lift you up, he will give you more grace.
The Big Idea:
Let’s get to the big idea. Here’s the big idea. The source of every conflict is selfishness and pride, the solution is grace and humility...The source of every conflict is selfishness and pride, the solution is grace and humility...You know this past week I learned that in some tribal societies they deal with conflict through something called spearing, it’s where you get stabbed with a spear if you do something wrong. So the way they deal with conflict is through spearing each other. We throw mud, fists, and hurtful words, they throw spears. City Awakening our sins have put us at war with God, they’ve put us in a conflict with God, but when Jesus came into this world he came not to spear us because of sin, he came to take a spear to the heart for our sins and put an end to our conflict with God. If you’re not a Christian you need to know that. You need to know your sins put you at war with Jesus, you’re in a conflict with Jesus, but he came not to spear you for your sins, he came to take a spear to the heart for your sins and invite you to be his friend not his enemy...Jesus wants you to be his friend not his enemy...If you humbly repent of your sins, believe Jesus lived, died, and rose again for your sins, you’ll no longer be in conflict with him you’ll be in friendship with him. You’ll be in an everlasting friendship with Jesus.
But as Christians when we realize Jesus was willing to take a spear to the heart for us to resolve our conflict with God, it should cause us to want to humbly lay down our spears so we can humbly resolve our conflict with others. The solution to conflict is grace and humility, it’s the grace and humility of Jesus. Worldly conflict teaches us to spear each other, but Jesus teaches us to lay down our spears in response to him taking a spear to the heart for us. You need to choose which approach you want for your relationships, spearing people or laying down your spears. You and I both know spearing people won’t ever help resolve conflicts, instead it’s the grace and humility of Jesus that can always resolve conflicts. City Awakening Jesus has sent us to reach people and reach the world with the gospel. He’s sending you, today, in this city, to help redeem some marriages, families, friendships, schools, and work places by leading the way in laying down your spears and resolving conflict with grace and humility, so let’s go do it. Let’s go redeem our city by laying down our spears, resolving conflict with grace and humility, and saturating our city with the love of Jesus. Let’s do it because we love Jesus, we love the people in our city, and because Jesus didn’t throw a spear at us, instead he took a spear to the heart for us.
Psalm 16:11 states, “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”
Bestselling author, scholar, theologian Tim Keller states, “Humility isn’t thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less. It’s not being focused on yourself, because inside you are supremely confident of your own worth, and that God is taking care of the circumstances of your life.”
Tim Keller states, “Why should I be selfish when I’m full of real wealth and love? Why should I be defensive when all charges against me have been dismissed by the real judge? Why should I be offended when I have the love of the King of the universe? Why should I begrudge giving forgiveness when I’m washed in Christ’s forgiveness now? Humble yourself before the Lord, and He will lift you up.”