Reflect Christ
Today we’re continuing our teaching series on a book of the bible called Colossians. It’s all about discovering a new life in Christ, and what we’re talking about specifically today is reflecting Christ with our lives. We’re talking about reflecting Christ with our lives, in every relationship. It’s a great message for mothers and children, but it’s a great message for everyone, because everyone wants strong and healthy relationships. We want our marriages to be strong, not strained. We want our families to be peaceful, not painful. We want our relationships at work to be enjoyable, not miserable. Everyone wants to have strong and healthy relationships, and today’s text teaches that a new life in Christ can help with that. It teaches that Jesus doesn’t just want to give us a new life; he also wants to transform our hearts and our relationships. He wants to transform the way we speak, respond, treat each other in our homes and workplaces. He wants us to reflect him in every relationship, and that’s what we’re talking about today. So let’s turn to Colossians 3 and get into it. You’ll find Colossians in the last quarter of the Bible, and we’ll be in Colossians Ch. 3:18-4:1. The title of today’s message is Reflect Christ, and the big idea of the message is don’t just receive Christ in your heart—reflect Christ with your life...Don’t just receive Christ in your heart—reflect Christ with your life, starting in your home...
Here’s your context. The Apostle Paul is the author of this book of the Bible, and he writes this to the Colossian Church located in a city called Colossae, which was a part of the Roman Empire. The problem he’s addressing is that they’re mixing their faith in Jesus with Roman gods. They’re creating a Jesus + Something Else theology, so he’s teaching them it’s Jesus + Nothing Else that equals everything. In Ch. 3 he’s teaching them that having a new life in Christ changes everything, including how we live. He says in Vs. 17, “Whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus.” He’s about to apply this principle to our relationships. He’s about to teach us that we should seek to reflect Christ in: 1st the marital relationship, 2nd the parental-child relationship, and 3rd the employee-employer relationship. Let’s check it out.
Colossians 3:18 states, “Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and don’t be bitter toward them.” Notice Paul starts with us reflecting Christ in our homes. He starts with wives and husbands, reflecting Christ in the marital relationship. The first thing he says is wives submit to your husbands, which doesn’t sit well with our American worldview. It’s because we don’t like the word submit. It sounds oppressive, chauvinistic, misogynistic, and we don’t like that in our American worldview. So we need to unpack what Paul’s saying here to protect women from misunderstanding this verse, and to prevent men from abusing this verse. So let me give you 3 quick things the word submit does NOT mean!
#1 Submit does NOT mean women are devalued. – In our American worldview the word submit devalues women. But in a Christian worldview women are considered highly valued image bearers of God. In Genesis 2 God created women to be helpers to men, and maybe it’s because God knew we’d need a lot of help! All the ladies are like, “Yes they do. You men need a lot of help...” The word helper implies that God gave women gifts in areas we’re lacking. It implies that men and women are to be like two puzzle pieces that complement each other, not devalue each other. The word helper is used to describe God more than anyone else in the bible, and women are to be highly valued imitators of this characteristic of God. So submit can’t mean to devalue women, because that’s against God’s design to treat them as highly valued image bearers of God.
#2 Submit does NOT mean women can’t have their own thoughts. – I’m married to an amazing woman, a very godly woman, and she has her own thoughts. Trust me, she lets me know them...And I’m glad she does, because her godly wisdom has helped sustain me as a pastor for 18 years. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and it feels like the devil’s right there ready to greet me. But whenever the devil starts whispering lies, my wife starts praying and speaking the truth of God’s word against those lies. Her thoughts, prayers, godly wisdom have helped sustain me as a pastor for over 18 years, and I’m thankful for that. God’s given every woman their own thoughts, desires, intelligence, and intuition, to be used in whatever ways they can to bring God glory.
#3 Submit does NOT mean women should submit to ALL men. – In vs. 18 it says wives submit to your husbands, not to all men. But if you notice Paul puts limitations on what wives should submit to even with their own husbands. Pay careful attention to what he says in the rest of vs. 18. He says wives submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. That means wives shouldn’t submit to things that aren’t fitting in the Lord. They shouldn’t submit to things contrary to Jesus. If a husband says to do one thing, but Jesus says to do something else. She should submit to Jesus, not her husband. This protects women from submitting to oppressive, chauvinistic, misogynistic, sinful, or abusive things her husband does, since that’s against Christ. So the word submit doesn’t mean to all men, or to everything her husband says. It means submitting to things aligned with Christ. The Exalting Jesus Commentary states, “The word submit describes a voluntary offering of oneself to another. It reflects the heart of Christ himself who, though he was equal, willingly subjected himself to the Father. A wife’s dignity and devotion to her husband are ultimately expressions of her love for Christ, and should be offered as that which is ‘fitting in the Lord.’”
Now in vs. 19 Paul also addresses the husbands. He says husbands should love their wives and not be bitter toward them. This ethical command to love your wife like this was counter-cultural in ancient civilizations. For example, in the Roman Empire men often mistreated their wives and raged bitterly against them. They used harsh words, threatened them, and used physical violence to control them. Under Athenian law women were considered the legal property of men in all stages of their life! Paul’s speaking against all these things with the ethical command to love your wife, instead of demanding or forcing submission. He’s saying there’s no place for any of that in a Christian marriage. Love is more than an emotional feeling; it’s a verb that requires action. It requires putting down the remote and power tools to spend time with your wife and care for her heart. Paul says men should love their wives, and not be bitter toward them. He pushes this even further in Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands love your wives, as Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her.” Husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the church, meaning they’re to sacrifice their lives for their wives just as Christ sacrificed his life for us. They’re to love their wives in a manner that reflects the love they received from Christ. We’re to put our prideful, selfish ways to death, and sacrificially love each other as Christ loved us. We should seek to reflect Christ in ways that are fitting in the Lord, and that sacrificially love each other as Christ loved the church.
Again vs. 18, “Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and don’t be bitter toward them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, don’t provoke your children, so they won’t become discouraged.” Paul is still talking about reflecting Christ in our homes, but he now shifts to reflecting Christ in the parental-child relationship. He says children, obey your parents in everything. Again that doesn’t mean obeying things that are against Christ; it means obeying things that are aligned with Christ. Paul also says the motivation for obeying your parents shouldn’t be to please them, because that might never happen. Sometimes parents are hard to please, so that can’t be your primary motivation. Paul says your primary motivation should be because you love Jesus, and it pleases the Lord! If your parents need to ask you to do something multiple times, and you’re just sitting there scrolling your life away. That isn’t reflecting your love for them or your love for Christ, and it isn’t pleasing to the Lord. I know sometimes children feel like their parents are nagging them. But guess what happens if you do what they ask, the first time they ask you? The nagging suddenly stops, because they don’t have to ask anymore. So if you want the nagging to stop, then do what they’re asking the first time they ask. But don’t do it just because you want the nagging to stop. Do it because you love them and you know it helps them. Above all else, do it because you love Jesus, and because you know that obeying your parents pleases the Lord.
But Paul also addresses fathers, saying don’t provoke your children. This applies to all parents and is a great reminder for mothers on Mother’s Day. He says fathers, mothers, parents, don’t provoke your children in ways that discourage them. In ways that make it hard for them to obey. Paul’s giving a strong warning not to crush our children’s spirits. Sometimes as parents we can say the right things, but say it or approach it in the wrong ways. We can sometimes say it or approach it in ways that discourages them and beats them down, instead of disciples them and builds them up in the Lord. We can sometimes focus so much on correcting their behavior, that we forget to cultivate their hearts...That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t ever discipline our children, because Hebrews 12 says, “The Lord disciplines those he loves.” So we should discipline those we love too! But Paul’s saying we need to do it in ways that don’t discourage them. We need to do it in constructive, not destructive ways. We need to focus on cultivating their hearts, not just correcting their behaviors. We need to remember Jesus started with relational connection before working on our behavioral correction. So reflecting Christ as parents entails seeking relational connection with our children before seeking their behavioral correction. Connection without correction leads to entitlement, but correction without connection leads to rebellion...Connection without correction leads to entitlement, but correction without connection leads to rebellion...It leads to our children being discouraged...The truth is marital and parental relationships can get messy. But Jesus is willing to help with the mess if we’re willing to seek his help, and make him the center of our home. You can’t reflect Christ in your home, if you aren’t seeking Christ in your home. Psalm 127, “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain.” You can’t reflect Christ in your home, if you aren’t seeking Christ in your home. You’ll build in vain without him.
Again vs. 20, “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, don’t provoke your children, so they won’t become discouraged. 22 Slaves, obey your human masters in everything. Don’t work only while being watched, as people-pleasers, but work wholeheartedly, fearing the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, do it from the heart, as something done for the Lord and not for people, 24 knowing that you’ll receive the reward of an inheritance from the Lord. You serve the Lord Christ. 25 For the wrongdoer will be paid back for whatever wrong he has done, and there is no favoritism. Ch. 4:1 Masters, deal with your slaves justly and fairly, since you know that you too have a Master in heaven.”Paul’s now shifting from talking about reflecting Christ in our homes, to reflecting Christ in the workplace. He talks about the relationship between slaves and masters, which in our culture is equivalent to the relationship between employee and employer. The reason I say that is because when we hear the word slave, we automatically think of 17th-18th Century American Slavery. But in many cases when the bible talks about slavery, it’s talking about a different kind of slavery than the 17th-18th Century American Slavery we’re familiar with. For example, in many cases slavery in the biblical context wasn’t based on race, it was rarely permanent, and slaves even had rights to bring their masters to court if injustices were done against them. People would also sometimes volunteer to be slaves to pay off their debt. They didn’t have banks back then to get a loan for things like a house, so they’d agree to work temporarily as a slave like a contracted employee. What Paul’s talking about here is like the employee/employer relationships we have today. But it’s also possible he’s pressing against any Christians who’ve adopted a harsher Roman view of slavery. In fact Paul at one point writes a letter to Philemon, who’s a wealthy Colossian Christian. Philemon has a slave named Onesimus who became a Christian, and Paul says in Philemon 1, “Have Onesimus back no longer as a slave, but more than a slave, as a beloved brother. Receive him, as you would receive me.” Paul’s telling him to love Onesimus as a brother, and to reflect Christ in that slave/master, employee/employer relationship.
Now Paul gives instructions for both the slave and master, the employee and the employer. The primary thing he tells both is to work as if they’re working for Jesus, because they are. He tells the slave, the employee in Vs. 23,“Whatever you do, do it from the heart, as something done for the Lord.” Then he tells the master, the employer in Ch. 4:1, “Deal with your slaves justly and fairly, since you know you have a Master in heaven.” He’s saying both should work hard with a high standard of excellence, treating each other fairly as if they’re working for their ultimate Master Jesus. It’s what should separate a Christian’s work from other people’s work. It’s that our work should reflect the ethics and excellence of Jesus. Theologian Martin Luther once referred to our professions as masks God wears to care for the world. Luther said, “When we pray the Lord’s Prayer, we ask God to give us this day our daily bread. And he does give us our daily bread. He does it by means of the farmer who planted and harvested the grain, the baker who made the flour into bread, and the person who prepared our meal.” Luther’s point is all these professions served a purpose. They’re masks God wears to care for the world, and they’re answers to our prayers for daily bread. So your daily tasks filled with diapers, dishes, schoolwork, spreadsheets, and more are all serving a purpose. They’re all opportunities to reflect Christ in your work. You aren’t just working for a paycheck; you’re working to reflect Christ in your work and in the workplace. How can you do that? How can you reflect Christ in your work and in the workplace?...What needs to change about your attitude and approach to your work, so your work can be a greater reflection of Christ in the workplace?...Paul’s instructions for the workplace mirror his instructions for the home. We’re to love Christ, seek to reflect Christ in both our home and the workplace. In the words of C.T. Studd, “Only one life, will soon be past. Only what’s done for Christ will last."
The Big Idea:
The big idea of the message is don’t just receive Christ in your heart—reflect Christ with your life...Don’t just receive Christ in your heart—reflect Christ with your life, starting in your home...Everybody wants to have strong and healthy relationships, but at some point we all fail by sinning and contributing to the breakdown of our relationships. At some point we all fail as husbands, wives, parents, children, employees, and employers. But the good news of the gospel is Jesus came to save and redeem you from your sins and failures. He didn’t just come to give you good advice; he came because you failed to live up to his good advice. He didn’t just come to show you a better way to live; he came to die on the cross for your sins and rise again to help you live! He came to give you a new life in him, and to help transform you into a greater reflection of him.
But you can’t reflect Christ if you haven’t received Christ, and if you aren’t seeking Christ. Skeptics need to receive Christ, but believers need to keep seeking Christ. You can’t reflect Christ by trying harder—you reflect Christ by seeking him deeper. You can’t reflect Christ and experience true transformation, if he isn’t the center of your life and relationships. It’s why Paul points back to Christ 7 times in the text. He says in the Lord or something similar 7 times in just 9 verses! It’s because he wants us to realize how much we need to rely on Christ. He wants us to realize in Christ our sinful failures are fully forgiven, but we also need to keep seeking Christ’s help to reflect Christ in our daily living. So don’t just receive Christ in your heart—seek to reflect Christ with your life. Seek to reflect Christ this week in every relationship, starting in your home...